Hi friend,
How are you? Is winter over where you live? Last night I heard an owl hooting right after a thunderstorm and for the first time in a long time, nature in Minnesota made my heart sing.
Before we dive in, I just wanted to say I’m so grateful you are here. This Substack has been an idea in my mind for a very very long time. Below I share about each of the motivations of the Enneagram and let me tell you, my Enneagram 4 fears were activated before I started Compassionate Enneagram to the point that I couldn’t even sit down to write.
So far none of them have come to pass. No one has told me I am inadequate or a failure at this. I have not been rejected by my friends. I have even posted something I felt was pretty unoriginal. And if anyone has unsubscribed, I have survived.
And you know what? You can find freedom from your fears, too.
Motivations: Why we do what we do
A few weeks ago, I talked a lot about our need for compassion when we discuss the Enneagram because we must be kind to those who are suffering.
“But we are only talking about the Enneagram,” you may have thought. “What suffering are you talking about?” I’m so glad you asked.
While many personality tools are helpful the Enneagram is the only personality tool to focus on our motivations. Other tools focus on what we do but the Enneagram gets to the root of why we do it.
Why we do what we do is largely to avoid something we fear. Such as being unlovable, being out of control, or being without support. What we do in order to avoid these things are usually to get the things we desire instead. Like being seen as good, achieving success, finding our place or roll in a group, or simply feeling good. These things, what we avoid and what we desire, are called our motivations.
If you don’t know your Enneagram Type or an Enneagram test still left you uncertain, the Main Motivations of each type can help you determine your type.
For example, not only do I want to have a great Substack (which may appear to be an Enneagram 3 or even an Enneagram 1 motivation), I want it to be original, unique, and compelling (all complete Enneagram 4 motivations that I am slightly embarrassed to share with you).
Not only this but knowing the motivations can help you understand others. Have you ever wondered why someone else is doing what they are doing? It is helpful to understand that their goal is probably different from your own.
Make sense? I hope so, because here are:
The Main Motivations for each Enneagram Type
Enneagram Type 1 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be wrong, bad, imperfect. To be unredeemable.
•Main Desire: To be good. To be right. To have integrity.
Enneagram Type 2 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be rejected, unwanted, or not good enough. To be thought unworthy of love.
•Main Desire: To be loved and wanted. To be appreciated.
Enneagram Type 3 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be seen as unsuccessful. Failure. To be inefficient or incompetent.
•Main Desire: To be admired, valued, and respected. To win and have high status.
Enneagram Type 4 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be insignificant, seen as inadequate or flawed. To be caught in the plain and mundane. To be emotionally cut off.
•Main Desire: To be known. To have significance. To be original.
Enneagram Type 5 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be perceived as incompetent or a problem, needy. To be invaded upon or having energy demanded of them.
•Main Desire: To be knowledgeable and capable, competent and self-sufficient.
Enneagram Type 6 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be without support and security. To be alone. Bad things happening in the future. The worst-case scenario.
•Main Desire: To be safe, secure, and supported
Enneagram Type 7 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: Fear of pain. To be deprived or bored.
•Main Desire: To be fully satisfied, happy
Enneagram Type 8 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To be weak or vulnerable. To be without protection. To be betrayed, controlled or manipulated.
•Main Desire: To protect themselves and those closest to them
Enneagram Type 9 Main Motivations
•Main Fear: To lose connection with loved ones. To be in conflict/tension. To be overlooked.
•Main Desire: To be at peace internally.
I would love to hear your thoughts. What type are you? What stands out to you about your motivations listed above? What is most difficult about these motivations?
Now What?
“That’s great, Leah,” you may say. “But now what?”
Good question. Now I invite you to Be Curious.
Ask yourself:
Has this worked in your life? How has it worked? Is it still working?
What’s at risk if you stop following these motivations? What’s at risk if you keep on the same way?
Chances are following these motivations have served you and kept you safe. They have won you approval, affirmation, control over your life, or security. And for that we can be grateful.
But often times they stop working. They begin to cause problems like anxiety or depression. Relational stress or conflict.
I believe being aware of our motivations can help us identify the stressors in our interior lives so that we can make choices and even change some beliefs about ourselves towards healing.
For example: what if I don’t have to be unique and original all the time? As an Enneagram 4, that question invites me into so much freedom.
What if you don’t have to pursue ( fill in your Main Desire )?
If you are fine and happy with how things are, great! But if you are interested in more… stick around. We will keep exploring these ideas.
Next week I’m going to share something a little different to expand on this topic. I’m looking forward to it and hope you join me!
Enneagram Coaching
I currently have 3 openings in my one-on-one Enneagram coaching. If you are interested in learning more or have questions drop a note or else you can schedule a free coaching consultation at any time.
"I chose Leah as my coach because she is real and authentic. She gives me space to process and brings unique insight to my thoughts, feelings & experiences. With her help, I have experienced a ton of growth both personally and in my closest relationships." #teamleah
-Sally
Hi Leah, fellow enneagram 4 here! I totally know what you mean about feeling the need to be original and significant all the time. Something that’s helped me over the last few years is gardening and writing about the seasons- in many ways those things are so obvious how can they be original? But then we see year on year how different it is all the time. My rose grows back each year in the same place in my garden but it’s still grown from the previous year. Looking forward to reading more of your enneagram thoughts! X
Leah, your insights on our motivations and fears continue to bring aha moments to me! At this stage of the game, at 64, I have a lot of ruts in my brain where my thoughts glide along like a well greased track. I love that you are giving us tools to use in order to choose new thoughts. What if it isn't my job to be "perfectly good and right"? After all, I have a savior who is!!